Author Archives: Jill Adler

23 ADULT TRUTHS!!!

 

1 Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

  1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  2. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
  3. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
  4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  5. Was learning cursive really necessary?
  6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  8. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.
  9. Bad decisions make good stories.
  10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
  11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
  12. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  13. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
  16. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
  17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  18. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
  19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
  20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
  22. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important…………….

SheJumps Inspires Determined Kayakers – Part III

PART III

We had a pile up heading into the biggest section of whitewater on the McKenzie and I was right on Courtney’s tail. I paddled left to avoid her boat and immediately succumbed to a side wave. I held out underwater for a bit but no one was going to rescue me. I pulled my sprayskirt and swam. Humiliated. But something good happened. I rescued myself and my own boat. I didn’t need anyone’s help.

I kicked it to a safe eddy, emptied out the water myself and got back in. I choked back tears not because I was embarrassed or defeated but because I couldn’t go back and try those waves again. If everyone else could do it, so could I.

I caught my breath and paddled back to the group. The other girls smiled encouragingly. I talked to Lauren and felt better as we approached the last section of rapids. I finally made it without swimming. The cheers from the girls matched the ones inside.

Photo by Desiree

Photo by Desiree

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We climbed back into the van for the ride home. I sat quietly listening to the others whose energy was twice what it was on the way in. SheJumps is no miracle drug that will turn you into an instant extreme athlete. However, it does get you amped. It gives you a taste of what that life is like; it enables you to explore parts of yourself you weren’t in tune with while keeping you safe and it plants a seed for continued adventure. It’s up to you to connect the dots.

I loved visiting Bend, meeting the folks at Tumalo and sharing time on the water with some really cool chicks. And I love kayaking whether I’m paddling or swimming next to my boat. At least I know I don’t have to impress some guy with my mad skills or hear him tell me to suck it up.

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To learn more about SheJumps, befriend the SJ Girafficorn on Facebook, go to SheJumps.org, and follow on Instagram and Twitter with @shejumps and #shejumps.

 

 

 

 

PART I                                        PART II

Kayaking = Swimming – Part II

PART II

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We piled into the Tumalo van for the two-hour drive. The lively conversation involved topics like the most magical travel experience you’ve ever had, farmers markets and massage therapy. At the put in, Lauri announced she had forgotten her sprayskirt. Lauren, moments later, couldn’t find the van keys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mo set to work building a skirt out of a trashbag and duct tape.

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The rest of us hunted for the keys. Lauren felt embarrassed and kept apologizing for putting us out, but we all could relate. This was typical chick M-O. We lose and forget things ALL THE TIME. It was easy to go with the flow, Lauren was with us and not a group of guys.

Twenty minutes later she found her keys-  sitting right on top of her boat!  We laughed but didn’t scold. With Lauri all taped into her kayak we were ready to roll, so to speak. The weather was perfect, the water chilly but manageable in a drysuit or wetsuit, and spirits high. Until…

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Swimming

We paddled downstream and gathered at the first eddy. I stuck close to Mo hoping to glean some gem that would magically turn me into the kayaker I wanted to be. She looked back and said, “There. That’s it. Now you’re doing it.” But in truth I was still apprehensive about the upcoming whitewater.

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The next task was to eddy* behind as many boulders as we could that were strewn throughout the coming stretch. I caught the very first eddy and beamed.  I thought eddying was the one skill I did fairly well but there was still lots to learn. My head and self-confidence were a jumble.

That’s when I found myself between a rock and a hard place. Literally.

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I went to eddy-out, into the current, but the rock was too close to my paddle and I flipped, then swam. Mo “rescued” me; shouting for me to grab her boat and keep my feet up in the shallow water as I bounced off rocks. I was ok. The only thing bruised was my ego. I caught up with my boat and apologized for the swim. She said no worries but I began to feel like “a girl”.  We broke for lunch. I laid in the cool water, wishing for a second wind and a chance at redemption; praying the mood would wash over me.

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After wolfing down my turkey sandwich from Bend’s Strictly Organic Café, I still wasn’t ready to get back in my boat. The largest wave train of the day lay ahead. I savored the wild blackberries growing on a nearby bush, wondering where my mojo went. The girls talked excitedly about their morning and their renewed love of kayaking. The SheJumps course was a great idea on so many levels. It brought them together, it developed their skills and it took place in a supportive environment.

It was a glorious afternoon and I wish I could tell you that I rocked the wave train but I’d be lying. I swam that too.

 

*Definition:A river feature formed when the current flows around an obstacle and water flows back upstream to fill in the space left by the deflected current.  The current inside of eddies flows upstream.  Eddies are great for resting, getting out of the current, getting out of the river and scouting.

 PART I                                              PART 3

Learn to Kayak in Bend Oregon – Part I

PART I

I woke up at 10 a.m. today. Don’t act surprised. I’m a night owl. And on top of that I’ve been on a whirlwind kayak binge in Bend, Ore. It was time to crash. I imagine this is what visitors to Park City feel when they go aggro over outdoor rec for three days in a row and have been sitting behind a desk for months leading up to the trip. Oh, don’t bag on me for not sitting behind a desk all my life. You get my meaning.

Rowing

I pulled into Tumalo Creek Canoe and Kayak shop at 5 p.m. Friday after a ten-hour drive from Utah…by myself. No, I haven’t taught the dog to steer yet. His paws won’t reach. The shop everything you could ask for in waterplay- SUPs, tubes, clothes, dog float coats, touring kayaks and whitewater kayak gear. They also do lessons and excursions to places around Bend. In fact, the shop sits on the Deschutes riverbank.

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I had just enough time to unload my boat and the dog before the SheJump introductions and quick pool session to get us acquainted with paddling gear. SheJumps is a nonprofit based here in Utah but rockstar women from all stretches of the U.S. comprise its core. They are dedicated to growing female participation in outdoor sports by running women-specific events. It’s no easy task when most women are good at making excuses for not playing- kids, time, injuries, shopping, partner who whines. Most active women will confess that they got involved with_____ (fill in the blank with skiing, rockclimbing, canyoneering, kayaking, etc) because a guy took them. SheJumps doesn’t want you to wait for “some guy.” They offer basic, technical skills workshops to help women discover the outdoors on their own. The sports may sound extreme but they are perfectly approachable with knowledgeable caring guides, hosts and peers.

When other women and girls are ‘doing’, you don’t have the same excuses you’d make in a group of guys. ‘They’re acting crazy, they’re more experienced, I can’t do that.’ When your peers are surrounding you, you think, “I can do that too.” Whether it’s a bike maintenance, avalanche or fly fishing clinic, the lessons come from nurturing supportive coaches.

The gaggle of six, mostly Oregon-based chicks was immediately introduced to our guides for the weekend- Mo, Lauren and Cait (our SheJumps representative). Cait had attended a women’s whitewater conference and wanted to bring a similar event to Bend. I had seen the Facebook post on SheJumps and immediately wanted in. What’s a 10-hour drive when you can have expert instruction from women, not men? Guys might take offense and think there’s no difference but when a girl’s about to cry out of frustration I need to hear “hang in there” rather than “suck it up”. I can only imagine what male kayakers would think after yesterday’s final day when one girl left her sprayskirt at the shop (a two-hour drive back), another lost the keys to the van and people were swimming right and left!

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We spent Friday evening learning about gear and practicing bow rescues in a small portable pool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, we paddled upstream (for hours) on the Deschutes to discuss proper kayak posture, paddle strokes and ferrying from one side of the river to the other. Because of my late nights, I barely had the energy for the tiny section of whitewater at the end of the day. Big mistake. All the other girls not only rocked it but relished in repeating the ferrying drills. My arms were jello so I watched.

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Saturday’s drills were meant to prep us for the final day on the McKenzie River; a class II+ whitewater section. Boy, was I excited. I even tried to get more sleep….

 

PART II                              PART III

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