Conservative parents of America, I hereby apologize if you are offended by my reference to Ryan’s fascination with my “improved” breasts. But can you honestly say that your husband or boyfriend didn’t respond the same way? Maleness is universal. I just happen to be the one unafraid to speak frankly.

I love being edgy! My mom wasn’t too pleased by my honesty and I’m sure Ryan’s mother was irked as well. Who can blame them really? This is not a situation either would approve of, let alone understand. But I doubt there’d be anything I could say that would make it all better right now.
They are both wonderful women but it’s their loss, really, if they can’t understand or can’t get past the open language because then they miss that smart, funny, caring, logical, constructive person inside. The girl who will stay up all night with you after you find out your boyfriend is in love with another guy, the one who writes your resumes and sets up contacts and interviews for you, the one who will pick you up from the airport at 2 a.m., the one who walks you through sending an email attachment (when you should know this by now) or isn’t afraid to tell you those pants make you look fat- if you ask, of course.
I’m not a private person. If I was, then blogging would not be an option. For the most part, I don’t go hogwild anymore at the dinner table but that doesn’t mean I’ll sensor my own blog. Jeez. This is me, Folks. Freedom of speech in all its glory and I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to mention sexuality, motherhood and low income in the same space.
Like Howard Stern’s producers once said, “While, the average radio listener listens for an average of 12 minutes, the Howard Stern fan listens for an average of 42 minutes because they want to hear what he’ll say next.”
Pig Vomit: Ok…but what about the people who hate him? “Good point,” they responded. “The average Howard Stern hater listens for 52 minutes.”
Pig Vomit: But if they hate him why do they listen?
“The answer most commonly given, ‘I wanna hear what he’ll say next.'” Ironic that Ryan loooves Stern.