I’ve known about Frank Garrish’s acting class for years but have always been hesitant to enroll. He’s scary- or so I’ve been told. He’ll make you cry. He doesn’t hold back. It’s not that I can’t take the criticism but I’m hardest on myself so when I hear from someone else that I’m not measuring up, I double that criticism and get discouraged. The last thing you want to be in acting is discouraged.
I’ve been at it for as long as I could control my own life. My parents refused to drive me to auditions or pick me up from play rehearsals so I had to wait. I combined my ability to write with my interests in media and – no- I did not become a screenwriter but a broadcast journalist. You know those people you see on TV telling you the news every night? I did that.- at KSPN in Aspen, Colo. and at KUTV in Salt Lake City. Then I was laid off. So I addressed another passion. Skiing. I joined Deer Valley’s Ski School and taught skiing to all ages and abilities. I have been skiing all my life- including a stint as a racer in college at UCLA. Came in 7th in slalom out of 36th. Not bad but my dad says if I don’t win, it’s not anything. See where I’m going with this? He poo poos acting too- If you don’t get a role, it’s not anything.
I absolutely love acting and the training of an actor. I have studied with practically everyone in Utah- Anne Sward, Geoff Hansen, Jeff Johnson, Catrine, Kate, Judy, Molly Benson and anyone else who sounds like they have something to offer. Not because I think they’re going to win me a roll but because I can practice with my peers, grow as an actor and ‘disappear’ for moments into others’ skin. If I make it past the audition and into a callback, bonus!
I’m SAG eligible. Got my card after five days as a featured extra on Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman. I had spent the summer in LA working for a talent agent at ICM (who’s now president of Warner Bros.) and did the stint on the Dr. Quinn set. I moved back to Utah and scored more roles – Promised Land, Touched, I was the soccer coach in Return to the Secret Garden and have three national infomercials to be (not so) proud of. I’ve done a handful of short films and if you asked what I dream of when it comes to acting it would be to star in a (good) independent that wins raves at Sundance. I have no desire to move back to LA. Ick. I have a strong freelance writing career, an adorable 3yo, a hot, loving boyfriend (her daddy), a great home in Park City and I ski 70 days a season. Why would I want to give that up?
To be honest, I want to nail more callbacks. I’m hoping Frank’s class will advance that goal. Please, Frank, don’t make me cry too much.
Update: Frank’s not so scary at all! We did some Meisnerish type things that got you out of your head, talked about acting technique and started to work a short scene we’ll do next week. As I was leaving he told me “You did good! And you listen, that’s important.” It felt like my dad had just told me he was proud of me.

I should be kissing cotton- like an hour ago. Not only would it be good for my health but it would be awesome for my ski day. A full 7 hours’ sleep AND the ability to get up at 7 a.m. for first tram? Now, that would be cool. For me, it’s more like 5 hours of sleep and out of bed at 9:30 a.m.
There was a day last week that I got to Snowbird at 3:15 p.m. Yup, while everyone else was heading down the canyon, I was zipping up. Parked, booted up and got two memorable tram rides to close out the day. It had been snowing all day and FB updates rolled in about how deep it was. I couldn’t leave home any sooner than 2:30 p.m. but I couldn’t let the day pass without at least making one run. No regrets. That’s my biggest mantra. Do everything you can so you don’t look back to wonder ‘what if’. I can honestly say that I don’t regret any of the choices I have made in my life. Not driving all the way over to Little Cottonwood Canyon at the end of the day and not even dating the toxic, emotional vampires in the male lifeform.
Ok, I’ll admit that I do regret staying with said nemeses past their expiration dates but, hey, the flipside is that I don’t wonder ‘what if’ I had just worked harder? I gave each relationship my all. So there. With Ryan it’s different. It’s easy. Hope he feels the same. We spent two hours in my tub last night just talking. Candlelight, jets, bathsalts and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck. Ah the romance. The perfect end to the perfect powder day.
The Collins lot was packed but not the mazes. The angry winds threatened to blow us home. Should we? We wondered. Would it really be all that after everyone else had been skiing for the past two hours. It was 11 a.m. I called Alta from the car. “It’s died down a lot from this morning,” Matt said. All lifts running, fresh snow, what the hell? We beelined from Collins to Supreme which had been closed the day before when a electrical transformer blew.
Seven laps; laying down 11s you could spot from the chair after each run. We hiked Catherine’s, did two in Spiney’s, I even launched a little 5-footer off this rock into a puff of waist-deep. Surprised Ryan. Something just got in me to take the air. It was soft and joyous. By day’s end the sun came out. Despite coating my face with Real Earth SPF 30 sunscreen, I cooked. Ryan, who had borrowed the sunscreen, also looked like a tomato. My first clue should have been the thin layer of white that never absorbed into his skin. The tube went immediately into the trash when I got home. My Smart Girls Who Surf After Lotion helped tons. Sunburn aside, the day was needed.
A powder day is always needed. Sage off with the sitter, just Ryan and me. Ending the day with the ultimate body buzz from the stress of your muscles firing with every neuron. I’m so digging my Head Jimi’s. I didn’t know if I could get used to a rockered ski but hoo boy I sure can. They scare me a bit. They are a breeze to turn from the tails (the backseat) and I don’t want to be that skier. I want to ski centered, ankles and knees flexed, working from my core not my quads. It’s no wonder these kinds of skis are so popular. You don’t have to have the same skills you do on a traditional/non-rocker ski. It’s almost cheating. The rocker tip and tail make the ski short and easy to spin-especially through the trees. Still, it’ll be a Jimi day again tomorrow.
Another thing I’m psyched on is my Pistil Andina belt. I had to beg the company to send it to me. It won’t be in stores until summer. I wanted it because it looked so cool. I had no idea that it would be the ideal ski belt. Made of some kind of cotton knit, it’s soft, supple and pretty. No more droopy newschool skater pants! The only metal anywhere is the belt buckle but the distressed silver is a smooth concave oval that hugs your belly without jabbing it- even when your knees jerk up into your chest when you hit a mogul. Love the crocheted pattern of flowers and leaves in pastel and earth tones. The colors match just about everything in my ski closet.
I’m pooped finally. 1 a.m. with the alarm set for 7 to see how much snow has fallen on Alta and the Bird. I get to go to sleep with visions of snowflakes dancing in my head. Sweet dreams for you too!

Ok, so maybe I’m the biggest bitch on wheels but I can’t stand the fact that Ryan can’t think or act for himself. It’s like he assumes I’ve replaced his mommy but I’m not his mother and never will be. I don’t exist for him; I don’t exist to coddle him and make life easy for him. If I wasn’t around, sure, he would find a way to handle trials on his own but because I am around and I’m good at navigating life, he sits back and lets me drive. I DON’T WANT TO DRIVE when he can. And, in this case, he can!
His car broke down tonight and he had it towed to a shop that told him it might be fixed tomorrow afternoon. So he spends all night playing hockey and drinking beer with buddies instead of finding a way to get to work in the morning. Why? Because he expects to take my new car and leave me at home all day. Sometimes I never leave the house so I wouldn’t miss my car – but that’s by choice. The fact that he had plenty of time to contact a co-worker who lives right around the corner from us and who could have given him a ride, leaves me livid. All because he doesn’t want to get his ass out of bed a half-hour earlier in the morning?!
If I was in the same sitch I would do whatever was easiest for everyone. I would, in fact, get up and catch a ride. Of course, those who know me are saying, “Riiiight, Jill does what is easiest on her.” Yes, to an extent that’s true. But I also figure out a way to deal with a situation that makes the most sense for everyone. For example, I don’t ask random people for a ride to the airport. I ask around to see if someone is already heading in that direction. If I couldn’t get him to the airport, Ryan would park his car at the ParknJet even if it meant paying for a week there before he would try to find a ride. Instead of borrowing Ryan’s car all the time while mine was getting fixed, I rented from Enterprise and they picked me up. If I’m hungry, I make myself something to eat. If Ryan’s hungry, he’ll order delivery or drive somewhere and buy himself dinner before he’d make even a sandwich or can of soup. He’s wired to expect me (or women in general) to take care of him.
It would have been easier for Ryan to simply get a ride from someone who is already going in to his office but he’s being selfish and expects me to enable his laziness. He’d rather assume I’ll come to his rescue than for him to go out of his way and make some phone calls. This is the same sh*t he did when he got his DUI and lost his license FOR THREE YEARS. He expected me to chauffeur him around instead of trying to catch rides from those heading in the same direction. In fact, there were more than a few times when I called MY friends and asked them to give him a ride because he “didn’t want to impose on anyone.” But it’s ok to impose on me? Why is it that being a girlfriend means getting the raw end of the deal? Is it too much to ask to be treated the way he might treat a friend? With concern over imposing? Granted, the definition of “relationship” is ‘never feeling like you’re imposing’ but that attitude truly sucks.

Would Ryan do the same for me?
The answer’s yes. If I needed his car- for whatever reason- he would have me drive him to work (at 5:30 a.m.), drop him off and take his car. He wouldn’t think twice about it. Wait a minute! Would he call and get a ride in to work and leave his car for me? Uh Uh. So I guess we can’t say he’d do the same for me. Anyway, back to the analogy- he lends me his car when I won’t lend mine. If it were that simple (and it NEVER is), of course he could take my car and I stay home for a day.
The point I’m trying to make is that it’s not about the car. It’s about his unwillingness to use anyone but me. If he had made even a little effort to find a ride, I would have been willing to help. But no, he goes out and f*7ks around all night then comes home and asks for my car keys. I’ve never been much of a sharer so you can’t take my stuff without my permission and assume it’s cool and you can’t guilt me into giving it over. (Which he is now relentlessly doing.) I have to want to share.
He wants – and expects – me to carry his ass and it drives me nuts. Why are the men I date so unresourceful and ineffective?? I guarantee you that he plans to call in sick tomorrow rather than get up early and call his friend for a ride; just to try to make me out as the bad guy and subsequently blame me for the reason he lost a sick day. After six years, I know that program.

5 minutes later:

Looks like I was right (of course). He just walked into my office to announce he’s “going to be hanging out” with me tomorrow. He’s calling in sick. What do I do, people? Let him lose the day and forever be the crappy girlfriend? Or give in and enable him to pull this act yet again?

Ok, so maybe I’m the biggest bitch on wheels but I can’t stand the fact that Ryan can’t think or act for himself. It’s like he assumes I’ve replaced his mommy but I’m not his mother and never will be. I don’t exist for him; I don’t exist to coddle him and make life easy for him. If I wasn’t around, sure, he would find a way to handle trials on his own but because I am around and I’m good at navigating life, he sits back and lets me drive. I DON’T WANT TO DRIVE when he can. And, in this case, he can!

His car broke down tonight and he had it towed to a shop that told him it might be fixed tomorrow afternoon. So he spends all night playing hockey and drinking beer with buddies instead of finding a way to get to work in the morning. Why? Because he expects to take my new car and leave me at home all day. Sometimes I never leave the house so I wouldn’t miss my car – but that’s by choice. The fact that he had plenty of time to contact a co-worker who lives right around the corner from us and who could have given him a ride, leaves me livid. All because he doesn’t want to get his ass out of bed a half-hour earlier in the morning?! If I was in the same sitch I would do whatever was easiest for everyone. I would, in fact, get up and catch a ride.
Of course, those who know me are saying, “Riiiight, Jill does what is easiest on her.” Yes, to an extent that’s true. But I also figure out a way to deal with a situation that makes the most sense for everyone. For example, I don’t ask random people for a ride to the airport. I ask around to see if someone is already heading in that direction. If I couldn’t get him to the airport, Ryan would park his car at the ParknJet even if it meant paying for a week there before he would try to find a ride. Instead of borrowing Ryan’s car all the time while mine was getting fixed, I rented from Enterprise and they picked me up. If I’m hungry, I make myself something to eat. If Ryan’s hungry, he’ll order delivery or drive somewhere and buy himself dinner before he’d make even a sandwich or can of soup. He’s wired to expect me (or women in general) to take care of him.

It would have been easier for Ryan to simply get a ride from someone who is already going in to his office but he’s being selfish and expects me to enable his laziness. He’d rather assume I’ll come to his rescue than for him to go out of his way and make some phone calls.
This is the same sh*t he did when he got his DUI and lost his license FOR THREE YEARS. He expected me to chauffeur him around instead of trying to catch rides from those heading in the same direction. In fact, there were more than a few times when I called MY friends and asked them to give him a ride because he “didn’t want to impose on anyone.” But it’s ok to impose on me? Why is it that being a girlfriend means getting the raw end of the deal? Is it too much to ask to be treated the way he might treat a friend? With concern over imposing? Granted, the definition of “relationship” is ‘never feeling like you’re imposing’ but that attitude truly sucks.

Would Ryan do the same for me?
The answer’s yes. If I needed his car- for whatever reason- he would have me drive him to work (at 5:30 a.m.), drop him off and take his car. He wouldn’t think twice about it. Wait a minute! Would he call and get a ride in to work and leave his car for me? Uh Uh. So I guess we can’t say he’d do the same for me. Anyway, back to the analogy- he lends me his car when I won’t lend mine. If it were that simple (and it NEVER is), of course he could take my car and I stay home for a day. The point I’m trying to make is that it’s not about the car. It’s about his unwillingness to use anyone but me. If he had made even a little effort to find a ride, I would have been willing to help. But no, he goes out and f*7ks around all night then comes home and asks for my car keys.
I’ve never been much of a sharer so you can’t take my stuff without my permission and assume it’s cool and you can’t guilt me into giving it over. (Which he is now relentlessly doing.) I have to want to share.

He wants – and expects – me to carry his ass and it drives me nuts. Why are the men I date so unresourceful and ineffective?? I guarantee you that he plans to call in sick tomorrow rather than get up early and call his friend for a ride; just to try to make me out as the bad guy and subsequently blame me for the reason he lost a sick day. After six years, I know that program.

5 minutes later:

Looks like I was right (of course). He just walked into my office to announce he’s “going to be hanging out” with me tomorrow. He’s calling in sick.
What do I do, people? Let him lose the day and forever be the crappy girlfriend? Or give in and enable him to pull this act yet again?