My boobs are gone and my hair’s falling out. If I didn’t know better – that it was because I’m done breastfeeding- I’d think I was turning into a guy. I’ll miss my boobs. I’ll actually miss breastfeeding too. I appreciate the freedom but I feel like I’ve let Sage down. If I wasn’t skiing so much, I wouldn’t have dried up and she’d still be getting all of those yummy nutrients and immunities. At the same time, between the pumping and nursing, I never got anything done.
Sage seems fine with the switch and has taken to Costco’s generic formula just fine. Which is a good thing since it’s half the price of the name brands.
However, ignorance was bliss. Now that I know I could handle a C cup (quite well, thank you), I suppose I’ll start saving up for my 50th birthday present. Renato Saltz did an amazing job on my friend’s breasts; hope he’s around by then.
Sage was soo cute tonight. We’ve been taking showers because she hated the bath but tonight was a break-through. Instead of trying to take a bath with her while she screamed bloody murder, I sat her in her baby tub with warm water and the shower going. At first she fussed but then settled in and started reaching for the floaty toys I tossed in. Once she seemed focused on them, I turned off the shower and voila!
Is it just me or am I that weird that motherhood and babydom are as smooth as a puppy’s coat (so far)? Perhaps it was my experience raising Tenaya. In 1997, I dedicated myself to being the best dog mom on earth. Unlike other people who get a dog, dont’ train it, never walk it, and kennel the poor thing whenever they leave home, Tenaya went everywhere with me; I trained her extensively so that it was possible. We traveled together and when she couldn’t come with, I made sure she had care at my house. I bred her, helped her deliver 10 outstanding puppies, handpicking each’s new home. Was that practice for the baby to come? I hear all of these scary and sad tales of mothers struggling with their “new life”, raging hormones, babyfat, sleepless nights. I can’t relate. And I can’t believe that I am the only mother not whining. Sage is amazing, adorable, happy, fun to watch and all of those other things every babysitter showers on me. Up until this month I’ve spent most days and nights with her- movies, restaurants, travel, work. Life goes on but now Tenaya and I have a little buddy.
I get my sleep. She takes two long naps during the day and sleeps 10 hours at night. Soundly. While I watch TV and work. When she’s awake, I feed her, change her, read to her, then set her in her crib or exersaucer or bouncy chair to play. She doesn’t need my attention so I cook, clean, do laundry, write, shower – all of my normal daily activities. I’ve found excellent sitters who love spending time with her so I can ski when (er, if) there’s good snow or a lesson to teach. I have been told that my attitude and ease have a lot to do with Sage’s temperament. I’m not overly protective or rigid. I don’t stress. We keep hours that work for both of us, I don’t hover and if she wants to make Play-Dough of her cereal, why not? I’ve got the babywipes on the kitchen counter.
The one significant change in my life (besides the financial strain) is the endless stream of laundry. But I’m handling that too. Maybe my trials have yet to appear. Toddler years? Teen years? It can’t all be flat water. Or maybe it is me and I waited just long enough in my life to be ready and able to care for a child without feeling lost, overwhelmed, frightened and angry; so Sage doesn’t feel those things either. When I finally decided I was ready for a child, I wanted her as much as I’ve wanted anything in my life and even when she’s crying I find it sweet. A little helpless baby cry that goes away in moments- with a cuddle or warm bottle of milk.

She’s got two crooked, bottom baby teeth. The first bothered her a bit but nothing a soft cloth and Tylenol couldn’t handle. The second popped out of nowhere without fuss.
Sage still doesn’t like spending time on her tummy but she tolerates it. I picked her up from Mardi’s house last week and she was on a rug at her feet while Mardi was doing dishes. Reminded me of those puppies. Sage looked up at me from the floor as if to say, “You back already?” She rolls over only when she feels like it; which isn’t often. Her big belly could be the culprit. Talk about pudge! Eighteen pounds of squeezeableness. I call her Pooh Bear because, well, she’s shaped like Pooh. She eats everything. I’m doing the jar food- green beans, peas, squash, sweet potatoes, applesauce, pears. She opens wide for it all. Can’t you tell? 😉
No allergies yet so we’ll soon move onto Stage 2 foods.
We went bowling yesterday. Kristen had a friend in town – Mike from REM- and we met up with them. Baker, Bresee and a few others. Bresee said I looked great and later said I was “hot”. I hadn’t heard those words from a man in a while. That was cool. That was very cool. It’s not like I don’t get out but I certainly don’t put myself out there like that. Sometimes I wonder if motherhood cosmically changes your vibe. It was refreshing to hear otherwise. John, Thanks for that!!
We left the lanes about 10:30 p.m. Sage was already asleep in her car seat. She woke long enough for me to change her diaper and move her to her crib.
It’s been a busy month with my teaching schedule at Park City Mountain Resort- four days a week. I want to spend more time with her but that will have to wait until next week. The snow totally sucks and it’s not supposed to get any better so we can hang out a lot more. I haven’t missed any milestones though!
She sits up without support. Crawling will be next. I’m sure my mobility will be curbed. But maybe not. I’ve been ‘lucky’ so far.

Every day, I wake and peer into her crib. Sometimes she’s sleeping soundly; other times she’s awake and quietly playing with her hands or “binky”. When she spots me looking, her face lights up, a broad smile breaks and her eyes open wide. She coos and squeals with delight. I think that’s my favorite part of the day now. Tenaya’s here too. She picks up her head from her bed, ears propped and moves closer. My little family. We’re all lucky.

P.S. Current photos are posted at www.dropshots.com/pcskigal