Author Archives: jilladler PCSkiGal

Time For Time

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If I can only get one thing done today, it will be to post a new blog.
Sounds like a mantra? I’m starting to search out there for a cure for what I have. I work and work – or at least I think I do- sitting at my computer 10 hours a day, every day (ok maybe it’s 5 sometimes), yet none of my projects wrap. And then more roll it. When I finally chip off one, two more appear; like something from the SCiFi Network. I’m told I must have ADHD and Sage’s pediatrician can help with that if I pass all of those determination tests. Turns out, I don’t have time to take them or I forget and another week passes! Ironic. I can’t get help for distraction because I get distracted. LOL.
Monday, the start of what feels like my spring. No snow in my backyard and the wild green grasses bud where the construction dirt from last year hasn’t crushed them.
Sage’s second winter of her life closes although we may still get in one or two sessions at the Bird before they close on Memorial. She skis now! Can’t make the ‘pie’ to stop but that’s what Mommy is there for. The kid’s got balance and absolutely no sense of danger on sticks. She hasn’t had any big crashes and when she touches snow she just raises her palms up for me to dry them off (she doesn’t like wearing her gloves when the sun’s out).
Sage Update-
Sage is a regular Chatty Kathy. She sings and cheers along to Dora (yes, I know). At 2.5, she’s imitating the things we say and do. This weekend she insisted on sitting in the driver’s seat (my car was parked), she clicked into the seatbelt, put one hand on the wheel and searched for ‘her phone’ with the other. “Where’s my phone,” she asked. “I need my phone.” FYI- handsfrees aren’t mandatory in Utah yet. She loves being outside, sliding and climbing. Here are some recent pics: http://picasaweb.google.com/mtnmedia/20090422?authkey=Gv1sRgCLjOouXCtK6Sdg&feat=directlink
She’ll eat anything if she’s in the mood and though we never force her to finish, she has quite the appetite. Sage loves to entertain. I actually think she gets a kick out of hearing all of the oohs and ahhs when she runs up and gives someone a hug.
Ryan update:
Living together has been working out. Our schedules are radically different so that I wind up waking solo, the bed to myself. He leaves at 5:30 a.m. Ugh. Except that I stay up so late that I’m dead to the world when his alarm goes off at 5 a.m.
He still has his job at Fidelity as other heads roll past his cubicle, he plays in a hockey league twice a week, and does his best to pick up after himself and stay clear when I’m out of sorts. Easy going guys rule.
Jill update:
I’m into week four of my 8-week acting class and getting back into the swing of things. Every winter, acting takes a back seat to skiing, but now that I have time, I can play a bit. I even went to the climbing gym on Saturday. I’m still hunting for that balance between being a mom, working and taking care of myself. The latter suffers. I want to exercise more and find time for friends but instead I Facebook and blog. Sigh. Fortunately, I take frequent trips that fulfill the hole for fun and play. We’re heading to Cali to see my folks the week of Memorial Day. Disneyland, SeaWorld, LegoLand and long lost roommates from college are on the agenda.
As for work, I’ve taken on the gig of Associate Editor for MountainGetaway.com and must file weekly reports on hot deals in the Mountain West. This is great because I now make the regular money I thought I’d be losing from Sports Guide.
I also have a giant assignment due next week for National Ski Patrol Magazine and am waiting to here back on two assignments for Sunset Magazine.
Ok, that’s life in a nutshell. More to come when I feel inspired! Hope you are all happy, well and shedding those winter shells.

Testing the Filler Waters

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I said I was running out to grab a bite. I came back looking five years younger- or so I thought. Ryan didn’t even notice! I suppose that could be a good thing. When you do something to your face, it better be subtle. You want people to think you just naturally look great or rested, not that you’ve “had work done”.
My friends are starting to use Botox. Some women I know have had boob jobs, nose jobs and eye tucks. My ‘age’ gracefully-never-cowtow-to-vanity friends discuss what they will do to themselves cosmetically “when the time comes.” And now the time is coming. Personally, I’ll get boobs in 10 years. But I’ve shunned Botox not only because the idea of firing up toxins into my skin scares me but the maintenance and cost insult my frugality. Then I heard about Artefill- A very expensive way to plump wrinkles permanently. I began to research and to see if there was a story there to cut my cost.
It’s not that I have these horrible lines to address but, like any woman, I’m self-conscious about aging. Two spots on my face nagged at me – a divet on the right side of my upper lip and a little (barely noticeable) scar near my eyes. Though not approved for this use, Artefill was my best option short of lasering my entire face if I didn’t want to come back every 6 months for touch-ups.

In pursuit of a story on artificial line fillers, I drove all the way out to Draper to see Dana at Clarity Skin. Clarity is one of the few places in Utah still carrying Artefill after the company making it filed Chapter 7 last November.
The injectible product was manufactured by Artes Medical and touted as the longest lasting wrinkle treatment for nasolabial folds on the market. Studies showed that it not only lasted 5 years but the results improved rather than diminished appearance over time .
It’s been on the market in other countries for a decade and used not only for those lines from your nose to mouth corners but under the eyes, in scars, across the bridge of noses and anywhere deep wrinkles have set in (except in crow’s feet).
The product is FDA approved and made from tiny microspheres of PMMA (clear plastic used in medical implant devices) and bovine collagen. The injections are designed to restore facial volume and reduce the appearance of deep wrinkles. Yet despite all of the hype, the company still went bust – blame the economy and lack of physician marketing. Even in Europe, where fillers saturated life a few years ago, doctors opted for more temporary types with fewer side effects over the permanent stuff and, well, the docs want return visits. It also came with some scary risks like lumps, bumps, and granulomas- or worse; keeping it from becoming all the rage like Botox and Restylane. Plus, removing Artefill is difficult and costly if the doc gets it wrong.
Like any filler, Artefill is only as good as the person who sticks it in you.
Dana has been using it for more than two years and she’s like a master artist. I trusted her completely. She was also conservative in her prodding so I needn’t worry about ‘overfilling’.
She smeared nubbing cream on my face and 10 minutes later was piercing my skin. I barely felt a thing and left 30 minutes later with only slight redness and tenderness in the areas she shot up. There’s definitely swelling in my face that will most likely last a few days but I’m not afraid of looking like the Elephant Man.
As I am doing this for research and storytelling, I know Dana wouldn’t have done the procedure if she was unsure of the results. Artefill is one of her favorite products at Clarity and is disappointed that it may soon be extinct. To cheer her up, I mentioned that anyone who has tried Artefill won’t have to worry about an alternative for at least five years and by then there will probably be something new to play with. I’ll check back in three months so we can compare the before and after pics but my heart is telling me, I’ll soon forget I even did this to myself and won’t notice a difference.
I’m a bit ashamed that I succombed to vanity. A part of me didn’t want to write this particular blog and thought to take this secret to my grave. Obviously, a larger part wanted to share. I wanted to let other women (and men) know that even someone as ‘earthy’ and athletic as I, am human. I have flaws I can’t live with and today’s technology claims you don’t have to anymore. I caved.

So far, I’m digging the results…and Ryan can’t tell. It’s not like I’m keeping a secret, however. I’ll tell him tomorrow. I just wanted to see if he would notice and am psyched he didn’t. Of course, I usually have to point out that I’ve had a haircut as well.

A Moment of Sun

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My parents arrived on Saturday to see Sage and spend a spring week in Park City. We did the Smith’s rotisserie chicken and some taters thing last night, watched Forbidden Kingdom and off they went into a blizzard to get back to the Westgate Hotel. The call came just minutes later.
Ryan took off (in my car 😉 ) with a shovel in hand to dig them out. My mom said she drove the rest of the way back to the Westgate at about 5mph and whiteknuckling all the way. Poor people. Coming from San Diego, they’re not used to winter driving. To them, this is ‘bad’ weather. To skiers, we’re in heaven. But, careful what you wish for.
I begged for “one more powder day” and I got two weeks of it! Ryan even took a vacation day from work to play in it last week. I’ve skied three of the best powder days of the season last week at Snowbird – even filmed at Brighton with Ritchie on Friday with waist deep swirling around me. Yeowza. The driveway had to be plowed three times in the last 24 hours. Need I go on? By Saturday, I was definitely ready to spend the day on the bunny hill with Sage and watch the pond skimmers.
Props to Ryan for being a major gentleman and rescuing my folks when they got their rental car stuck in a snowbank last night. The snow got deeper and deeper throughout the day and, instead of letting up like we thought, it got worse after dinner.Ryan was everyone’s hero. I stayed back to watch Sage and clean the kitchen. God how traditional does that sound? When it comes to digging and pushing out a car, he wins. I’m still not changing my mind about his assuming that my car is his (it’s not) or him wanting to lean on me before he tries to solve his own problems but I’m no longer angry.
Boy, was I fuming. I did wind up loaning him my car; he thanked me when he got home and I explained that it wasn’t the car but his eager willingness to inconvenience me without ever attempting to find a better option (like getting a ride from a co-worker). I told him all he needed to do was to show he had made at least SOME kind of effort. BIG BUTTON issue. I have enough to do in my life without having to deal with damage control of his issues too (at least not before he tries to take care of them himself). We’ll see what happens next time, of course, but today, he’s my dreamboat again.
Gotta hit the shower now.I took my parents snowmobiling at Deer Valley’s Garff Ranch and then we cruised through Kamas like tourists- buying home-smoked jerky and shopping at the New West Country Store. I dropped them at their hotel so I could grab Sage from the sitter’s, shower and head back out for dinner. Whew. The last time they were here (a year ago), they complained of boredom. This time, they’ll go home needing a vacation! 🙂

What Should I Do?

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Ok, so maybe I’m the biggest bitch on wheels but I can’t stand the fact that Ryan can’t think or act for himself. It’s like he assumes I’ve replaced his mommy but I’m not his mother and never will be. I don’t exist for him; I don’t exist to coddle him and make life easy for him. If I wasn’t around, sure, he would find a way to handle trials on his own but because I am around and I’m good at navigating life, he sits back and lets me drive. I DON’T WANT TO DRIVE when he can. And, in this case, he can!
His car broke down tonight and he had it towed to a shop that told him it might be fixed tomorrow afternoon. So he spends all night playing hockey and drinking beer with buddies instead of finding a way to get to work in the morning. Why? Because he expects to take my new car and leave me at home all day. Sometimes I never leave the house so I wouldn’t miss my car – but that’s by choice. The fact that he had plenty of time to contact a co-worker who lives right around the corner from us and who could have given him a ride, leaves me livid. All because he doesn’t want to get his ass out of bed a half-hour earlier in the morning?!
If I was in the same sitch I would do whatever was easiest for everyone. I would, in fact, get up and catch a ride. Of course, those who know me are saying, “Riiiight, Jill does what is easiest on her.” Yes, to an extent that’s true. But I also figure out a way to deal with a situation that makes the most sense for everyone. For example, I don’t ask random people for a ride to the airport. I ask around to see if someone is already heading in that direction. If I couldn’t get him to the airport, Ryan would park his car at the ParknJet even if it meant paying for a week there before he would try to find a ride. Instead of borrowing Ryan’s car all the time while mine was getting fixed, I rented from Enterprise and they picked me up. If I’m hungry, I make myself something to eat. If Ryan’s hungry, he’ll order delivery or drive somewhere and buy himself dinner before he’d make even a sandwich or can of soup. He’s wired to expect me (or women in general) to take care of him.
It would have been easier for Ryan to simply get a ride from someone who is already going in to his office but he’s being selfish and expects me to enable his laziness. He’d rather assume I’ll come to his rescue than for him to go out of his way and make some phone calls. This is the same sh*t he did when he got his DUI and lost his license FOR THREE YEARS. He expected me to chauffeur him around instead of trying to catch rides from those heading in the same direction. In fact, there were more than a few times when I called MY friends and asked them to give him a ride because he “didn’t want to impose on anyone.” But it’s ok to impose on me? Why is it that being a girlfriend means getting the raw end of the deal? Is it too much to ask to be treated the way he might treat a friend? With concern over imposing? Granted, the definition of “relationship” is ‘never feeling like you’re imposing’ but that attitude truly sucks.

Would Ryan do the same for me?
The answer’s yes. If I needed his car- for whatever reason- he would have me drive him to work (at 5:30 a.m.), drop him off and take his car. He wouldn’t think twice about it. Wait a minute! Would he call and get a ride in to work and leave his car for me? Uh Uh. So I guess we can’t say he’d do the same for me. Anyway, back to the analogy- he lends me his car when I won’t lend mine. If it were that simple (and it NEVER is), of course he could take my car and I stay home for a day.
The point I’m trying to make is that it’s not about the car. It’s about his unwillingness to use anyone but me. If he had made even a little effort to find a ride, I would have been willing to help. But no, he goes out and f*7ks around all night then comes home and asks for my car keys. I’ve never been much of a sharer so you can’t take my stuff without my permission and assume it’s cool and you can’t guilt me into giving it over. (Which he is now relentlessly doing.) I have to want to share.
He wants – and expects – me to carry his ass and it drives me nuts. Why are the men I date so unresourceful and ineffective?? I guarantee you that he plans to call in sick tomorrow rather than get up early and call his friend for a ride; just to try to make me out as the bad guy and subsequently blame me for the reason he lost a sick day. After six years, I know that program.

5 minutes later:

Looks like I was right (of course). He just walked into my office to announce he’s “going to be hanging out” with me tomorrow. He’s calling in sick. What do I do, people? Let him lose the day and forever be the crappy girlfriend? Or give in and enable him to pull this act yet again?

What Should I Do?

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Ok, so maybe I’m the biggest bitch on wheels but I can’t stand the fact that Ryan can’t think or act for himself. It’s like he assumes I’ve replaced his mommy but I’m not his mother and never will be. I don’t exist for him; I don’t exist to coddle him and make life easy for him. If I wasn’t around, sure, he would find a way to handle trials on his own but because I am around and I’m good at navigating life, he sits back and lets me drive. I DON’T WANT TO DRIVE when he can. And, in this case, he can!

His car broke down tonight and he had it towed to a shop that told him it might be fixed tomorrow afternoon. So he spends all night playing hockey and drinking beer with buddies instead of finding a way to get to work in the morning. Why? Because he expects to take my new car and leave me at home all day. Sometimes I never leave the house so I wouldn’t miss my car – but that’s by choice. The fact that he had plenty of time to contact a co-worker who lives right around the corner from us and who could have given him a ride, leaves me livid. All because he doesn’t want to get his ass out of bed a half-hour earlier in the morning?! If I was in the same sitch I would do whatever was easiest for everyone. I would, in fact, get up and catch a ride.
Of course, those who know me are saying, “Riiiight, Jill does what is easiest on her.” Yes, to an extent that’s true. But I also figure out a way to deal with a situation that makes the most sense for everyone. For example, I don’t ask random people for a ride to the airport. I ask around to see if someone is already heading in that direction. If I couldn’t get him to the airport, Ryan would park his car at the ParknJet even if it meant paying for a week there before he would try to find a ride. Instead of borrowing Ryan’s car all the time while mine was getting fixed, I rented from Enterprise and they picked me up. If I’m hungry, I make myself something to eat. If Ryan’s hungry, he’ll order delivery or drive somewhere and buy himself dinner before he’d make even a sandwich or can of soup. He’s wired to expect me (or women in general) to take care of him.

It would have been easier for Ryan to simply get a ride from someone who is already going in to his office but he’s being selfish and expects me to enable his laziness. He’d rather assume I’ll come to his rescue than for him to go out of his way and make some phone calls.
This is the same sh*t he did when he got his DUI and lost his license FOR THREE YEARS. He expected me to chauffeur him around instead of trying to catch rides from those heading in the same direction. In fact, there were more than a few times when I called MY friends and asked them to give him a ride because he “didn’t want to impose on anyone.” But it’s ok to impose on me? Why is it that being a girlfriend means getting the raw end of the deal? Is it too much to ask to be treated the way he might treat a friend? With concern over imposing? Granted, the definition of “relationship” is ‘never feeling like you’re imposing’ but that attitude truly sucks.

Would Ryan do the same for me?
The answer’s yes. If I needed his car- for whatever reason- he would have me drive him to work (at 5:30 a.m.), drop him off and take his car. He wouldn’t think twice about it. Wait a minute! Would he call and get a ride in to work and leave his car for me? Uh Uh. So I guess we can’t say he’d do the same for me. Anyway, back to the analogy- he lends me his car when I won’t lend mine. If it were that simple (and it NEVER is), of course he could take my car and I stay home for a day. The point I’m trying to make is that it’s not about the car. It’s about his unwillingness to use anyone but me. If he had made even a little effort to find a ride, I would have been willing to help. But no, he goes out and f*7ks around all night then comes home and asks for my car keys.
I’ve never been much of a sharer so you can’t take my stuff without my permission and assume it’s cool and you can’t guilt me into giving it over. (Which he is now relentlessly doing.) I have to want to share.

He wants – and expects – me to carry his ass and it drives me nuts. Why are the men I date so unresourceful and ineffective?? I guarantee you that he plans to call in sick tomorrow rather than get up early and call his friend for a ride; just to try to make me out as the bad guy and subsequently blame me for the reason he lost a sick day. After six years, I know that program.

5 minutes later:

Looks like I was right (of course). He just walked into my office to announce he’s “going to be hanging out” with me tomorrow. He’s calling in sick.
What do I do, people? Let him lose the day and forever be the crappy girlfriend? Or give in and enable him to pull this act yet again?

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