I said I was running out to grab a bite. I came back looking five years younger- or so I thought. Ryan didn’t even notice! I suppose that could be a good thing. When you do something to your face, it better be subtle. You want people to think you just naturally look great or rested, not that you’ve “had work done”.
My friends are starting to use Botox. Some women I know have had boob jobs, nose jobs and eye tucks. My ‘age’ gracefully-never-cowtow-to-vanity friends discuss what they will do to themselves cosmetically “when the time comes.” And now the time is coming. Personally, I’ll get boobs in 10 years. But I’ve shunned Botox not only because the idea of firing up toxins into my skin scares me but the maintenance and cost insult my frugality. Then I heard about Artefill- A very expensive way to plump wrinkles permanently. I began to research and to see if there was a story there to cut my cost.
It’s not that I have these horrible lines to address but, like any woman, I’m self-conscious about aging. Two spots on my face nagged at me – a divet on the right side of my upper lip and a little (barely noticeable) scar near my eyes. Though not approved for this use, Artefill was my best option short of lasering my entire face if I didn’t want to come back every 6 months for touch-ups.

In pursuit of a story on artificial line fillers, I drove all the way out to Draper to see Dana at Clarity Skin. Clarity is one of the few places in Utah still carrying Artefill after the company making it filed Chapter 7 last November.
The injectible product was manufactured by Artes Medical and touted as the longest lasting wrinkle treatment for nasolabial folds on the market. Studies showed that it not only lasted 5 years but the results improved rather than diminished appearance over time .
It’s been on the market in other countries for a decade and used not only for those lines from your nose to mouth corners but under the eyes, in scars, across the bridge of noses and anywhere deep wrinkles have set in (except in crow’s feet).
The product is FDA approved and made from tiny microspheres of PMMA (clear plastic used in medical implant devices) and bovine collagen. The injections are designed to restore facial volume and reduce the appearance of deep wrinkles. Yet despite all of the hype, the company still went bust – blame the economy and lack of physician marketing. Even in Europe, where fillers saturated life a few years ago, doctors opted for more temporary types with fewer side effects over the permanent stuff and, well, the docs want return visits. It also came with some scary risks like lumps, bumps, and granulomas- or worse; keeping it from becoming all the rage like Botox and Restylane. Plus, removing Artefill is difficult and costly if the doc gets it wrong.
Like any filler, Artefill is only as good as the person who sticks it in you.
Dana has been using it for more than two years and she’s like a master artist. I trusted her completely. She was also conservative in her prodding so I needn’t worry about ‘overfilling’.
She smeared nubbing cream on my face and 10 minutes later was piercing my skin. I barely felt a thing and left 30 minutes later with only slight redness and tenderness in the areas she shot up. There’s definitely swelling in my face that will most likely last a few days but I’m not afraid of looking like the Elephant Man.
As I am doing this for research and storytelling, I know Dana wouldn’t have done the procedure if she was unsure of the results. Artefill is one of her favorite products at Clarity and is disappointed that it may soon be extinct. To cheer her up, I mentioned that anyone who has tried Artefill won’t have to worry about an alternative for at least five years and by then there will probably be something new to play with. I’ll check back in three months so we can compare the before and after pics but my heart is telling me, I’ll soon forget I even did this to myself and won’t notice a difference.
I’m a bit ashamed that I succombed to vanity. A part of me didn’t want to write this particular blog and thought to take this secret to my grave. Obviously, a larger part wanted to share. I wanted to let other women (and men) know that even someone as ‘earthy’ and athletic as I, am human. I have flaws I can’t live with and today’s technology claims you don’t have to anymore. I caved.

So far, I’m digging the results…and Ryan can’t tell. It’s not like I’m keeping a secret, however. I’ll tell him tomorrow. I just wanted to see if he would notice and am psyched he didn’t. Of course, I usually have to point out that I’ve had a haircut as well.

My parents arrived on Saturday to see Sage and spend a spring week in Park City. We did the Smith’s rotisserie chicken and some taters thing last night, watched Forbidden Kingdom and off they went into a blizzard to get back to the Westgate Hotel. The call came just minutes later.
Ryan took off (in my car 😉 ) with a shovel in hand to dig them out. My mom said she drove the rest of the way back to the Westgate at about 5mph and whiteknuckling all the way. Poor people. Coming from San Diego, they’re not used to winter driving. To them, this is ‘bad’ weather. To skiers, we’re in heaven. But, careful what you wish for.
I begged for “one more powder day” and I got two weeks of it! Ryan even took a vacation day from work to play in it last week. I’ve skied three of the best powder days of the season last week at Snowbird – even filmed at Brighton with Ritchie on Friday with waist deep swirling around me. Yeowza. The driveway had to be plowed three times in the last 24 hours. Need I go on? By Saturday, I was definitely ready to spend the day on the bunny hill with Sage and watch the pond skimmers.
Props to Ryan for being a major gentleman and rescuing my folks when they got their rental car stuck in a snowbank last night. The snow got deeper and deeper throughout the day and, instead of letting up like we thought, it got worse after dinner.Ryan was everyone’s hero. I stayed back to watch Sage and clean the kitchen. God how traditional does that sound? When it comes to digging and pushing out a car, he wins. I’m still not changing my mind about his assuming that my car is his (it’s not) or him wanting to lean on me before he tries to solve his own problems but I’m no longer angry.
Boy, was I fuming. I did wind up loaning him my car; he thanked me when he got home and I explained that it wasn’t the car but his eager willingness to inconvenience me without ever attempting to find a better option (like getting a ride from a co-worker). I told him all he needed to do was to show he had made at least SOME kind of effort. BIG BUTTON issue. I have enough to do in my life without having to deal with damage control of his issues too (at least not before he tries to take care of them himself). We’ll see what happens next time, of course, but today, he’s my dreamboat again.
Gotta hit the shower now.I took my parents snowmobiling at Deer Valley’s Garff Ranch and then we cruised through Kamas like tourists- buying home-smoked jerky and shopping at the New West Country Store. I dropped them at their hotel so I could grab Sage from the sitter’s, shower and head back out for dinner. Whew. The last time they were here (a year ago), they complained of boredom. This time, they’ll go home needing a vacation! 🙂

Ryan’s got to stop farting! If he doesn’t, he’s sleeping someplace else. I deseparately need my sleep. For the past four nights, his silent stench has woken me up. I’ll turn in bed, the sheets will invariably lift and, poof, it’s like I’ve stepped into a sewer system. The smell is enough to kill small farm animals. And it wakes me in an angry way. Maybe he’s telling the truth when he says he has no idea he’s doing it. I don’t care. It has to stop! It’s driving me crazy.
Last night, I got so mad. Not only did he fart a zillion times, but he rolled over to my side of the bed to do it. I shoved him back over and he didn’t even grunt. Not fair that he can sleep through this vile act. When he snores, my nudges will wake him and he stops. My theory that if he wakes me up, I’m waking him up doesn’t apply to his gas. Waking him up, doesn’t make the offense go away. It just makes him lift the sheets and release more of the toxic fumes.
Living with a guy, granted, isn’t exactly wine and roses 24/7 but it shouldn’t be backwash and stinkweed either. Ryan’s a sweet guy and he means well most of the time but I’ve never had a boyfriend with gas this bad. During the day, he’s gotten better at not walking over to me and farting. Now he tries to fart in the bathroom or at least out of earshot. But at night, it seems unavoidable and it’s killing me. The couch has his name written all over it. Men, why are you so disgusting?

Ok, so it’s only temporary. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Ryan’s been looking for a place to buy in Salt Lake and in the meantime has run his current apartment into a hellhole. I won’t ever spend the night there (ick). Not to mention he can’t remember the last time he changed his sheets. He actually threw away all of his dishes because after spending months as a science experiment in his sink they were easier to toss than clean.
He’s at my place (in Park City) all the time anyway, I convince myself. What would really be different? Not to mention the Red Sox playoffs have begun so he’ll be up here for sure. But it was always comforting to know that I could send him home to his place and it wouldn’t mean anything more than he was spending the night at his place. Now, if he sleeps somewhere else it’s a big deal.

We had talked about living together but the discussion ends with me saying, “If you want this relationship to last, never move in.” It’s me not him. I’m a pain inthe ass to live with. I like my space, I need to control my space, and I suck as a sharer. I know my limitations. Fortunately, so does Ryan. He enjoys pushing my buttons but he also knows when he’s gone too far and how to make amends. Chinese Food and a big hug.
We’ve lasted this long because of him, not me. He’s terrific and easy going even when I’m a raging bitch. I so love that guy! But we could always take a breather in separate corners.
Then I go and f*^% it all up by suggesting he move in until he finds a place to buy sla he pays for twice a month housecleaning. I don’t ask for much- I guess – because he took the move-out letter to his landlord today. Starting Nov. 1, we will officially be living together.
Yikes! Am I making the biggest mistake of my life? I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the status quo and I could tell that Ryan is scared to death as well; even when he happily cuddled with Sage and announced that he would now see her every day- (like he doesn’t already!)
It’s temporary, I repeat. We did this once before but Sage wasn’t in the picture and Ryan didn’t have a driver’s license. He was stuck at my place, driving me mad instead of driving. I couldn’t wait for him to get out and move down to Salt Lake City.
This time is supposedly just until he buys a place, but we both know that if we’re doing well together he may buy the place and stick renters in, instead of himself. Plus, Sage would sure miss her him once she got used to having him around.
Some may wonder what I’m afraid of. Those are the ones who have never lived with a boyfriend. A boyfriend whose only reference to living with a woman is living with his mother. Ryan slipped up tonight and said, “Maybe now that I’m here, we’ll cook more.” I corrected him that “we’ll” means “me” and “No, I do not plan to cook more.” Nor do I intend to do his laundry or his cleaning. Hence, the cleaning lady that he will be paying for. That’s the selling point for sure. Up till now, our biggest battles have been over the fact that he has lived here four nights a week for more than five years and hasn’t once cleaned a toilet or sink or floor. Pros and cons:
Pros-
I can hit the gym every afternoon if I want because he’ll be here right after work instead of his place and can watch Sage.
twice a month house cleaning
saving money on both sides. He pays no rent and I get help with bills
Someone to cuddle with at night and watch Heroes with
twice a month house cleaning
I can play with the girls on baseball nights while he watches Tv and Sage
Cons-
More Mess
Having to move my stuff around to make room for his stuff
Nowhere to run
Toilet seat up and guy gas
Don’t get the bed all to myself
Well, I better get back to work. Just needed to flush out my thoughts. I feel better now; actually a bit excited at the new challenge ahead. I’ll keep you posted.
BTW, the new issue of Sports Guide is out and posted on our site: www.sportsguidemag.com. Check it out!