Author Archives: jilladler PCSkiGal

Independence Day

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Wouldn’t it be ironic if Sage began crawling forward by Wednesday? She’s so close. As I stood by the edge of the bed, I watched her inch on her back- head first- toward the point of no return. One more skooch. I caught her just as she launched. She laughed. That baby loves a freefall. I can’t wait to take her on rollercoasters. I had initially planned to hit Disneyland when we roadtrip to Cali. this week but friends and family talked me down from that ledge. It’s hot and crowded in July, she won’t remember, blah blah blah. So instead, I’ll investigate LegoLand. That’s in between surf sessions.

The goal is to get up consistently on a board.

We found instructors from Craigslist to help. And my brother will also be in town (with my nieces) to add his two cents on surfing. Sage gets to meet her 2-year-old Cousin Tessa. In a sense, Sage already has since she’s wearing most of her clothes! I’m actually very excited for this trip. Normally I’m going somewhere every other week in the summer but I stayed grounded after Telluride in May just to amp up for this trip. One week in cool San Diego. Wahoo!

We start our roadtrip on Thursday. Turns out I found a 28-year-old guy off of Craigslist to join us and split gas. He calls himself a “traveler” and hitches from place to place, country to country. He was in Utah visiting his dad and now he wants to get back to California. Ryan’s afraid we’re going to be escorting an axe murderer. I think he’s just jealous. 😉 But just in case- if you don’t see a blog on here from San Diego, call the cops. the guy’s name is Destry and he’s traveling with a lab-size puppy.

Things are good with Ryan. We hit a rough patch two weeks ago where I considered professional help – for both of us. We just weren’t communicating but bickering all the time. It was sucking the energy out of the room and me. Ryan didn’t see this as a problem! He thought this was healthy debating. It was over stupid stuff like my driving (which is horrible and will always be), my lack of neatness (again, won’t change), how potential tenants won’t pay more a month just because you have a washer and dryer. Crap like that. He’ll make a comment, I’ll respond , he’ll retort, I’ll say. “This is a ridiculous conversation. Enough already.” And he doesn’t notice that it’s time to change the subject. He’ll go on and on trying to engage me.

The other day he said I should knock out my living room wall and put in big windows. I said, “Sure, as soon as you have the money for the project.” You would think that was the end of story. But no, he had to continue to direct and explain why my house would look better. He didn’t get that I agree with him; I’m just not going to do anything about it. Hence the need for communication advice. MEN. It gets terribly annoying. I love the house to myself- no tension, no conflict, no valuable time wasted on idiotic conversations about what I need to do differently. Now, some of you are thinking, sounds like he’s trying to change you. And you would be right. And anyone who knows me, knows that’s a very dangerous path to tread. But what I think is going on is not that he wants to change me in a literal sense but that he feels like he has no control and that I have it all – he’s in my house, I am Sage’s primary caregiver, what I say goes. So he tries to find control by trying to control me, when he’s really just trying to assert himself. I wish I was equipped to deal with the ego struggle and he’s got no skills for this sort of thing either. The words and tone come out all wrong. I’m sure we’ll fight over this blog and he’ll tell me to stop talking about him to the WWW, I’ll get pissed, then apologize, say I’m sorry for hurting his feelings and reedit the blog. Or I could just take this whole paragraph out now. hmmmm.

Naw. it feels good to vent and it’s not like there isn’t a single chick out there that can’t relate.
Ryan and I have been together more than four years. We’re destined to survive this kind of BS. He’s still a sweet guy who deserves more appreciation from me!

Meeting Your Tiger Beat Heartthrob

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I have to gush; I spent the entire weekend with one of my childhood crushes. Richard Hatch aka Apollo from the original Battlestar Galactica. The actor was in town to teach a two-day acting workshop. I signed up for two reasons, I like acting workshops and I had to meet Richard. After all, how often does one get this kind of opportunity?

When I was ten I devoured my Tiger Beat magazines looking for secrets as to what he likes in a woman. He was 33! Hustler of Muscle Beach, Deadman’s Curve, and Battlestar. Hatch was hot. With dark, feathered hair, light eyes and strong demeanor, I was hooked. Then I became a teen and gave up on star crushes, turning my sights on the boy down the street named Brad Luff. I might as well have pined for Richard. Brad had the cheerleader babe girlfriend and they were like the dream couple. Sigh.
But back to Richard. Who would have thought he would be such a sweet guy? He’s actually dating a woman here in Utah whom he met during a science fiction convention last winter. It gives him an excuse to teach a workshop every few months.
The class consisted of about eight Utah actors and we spent eight hours a day listening to stories of the ‘Biz’, tips on auditioning, on how acting affects who you are and how you live your life and working scenes with partners. Richard looked and sounded great. He may have been a bit too nice in his feedback, though. I got a lot of praise and I would have liked to hear more criticism. I can’t be that good. Maybe he was worried that I couldn’t take it?
He was nice to everyone- telling this 12 yr old kid who could cry at the drop of a hat how he was born to act (personally, I thought the boy was great at making himself cry but he seemed to sob a bit too easily (it got old) and without understanding the character he was playing. But he’s young and who am I to judge? I cried too in my scenes but it usually took connecting with my partner and the words before that happened.
It was fun to bond with the other classmates in this intensive weekend and to have the honor of Richard’s wisdom. He’s been in the industry for a long time (currently acting in the new Battlestar Galactica on the Sci Fi Channel and producing his own projects), has written books, does public speaking seminars and workshops in L.A. and has hosted a relationship radio show. He’s a sensitive, deep man with a lot to give.
It felt good to hear that he is surprised by the talent in Utah. I hope that means he’ll look to us when there’s a project to cast. Since Everwood’s cancellation, there’s been a dearth of acting gigs. The weekend ended with big hugs and promises to come back in the Fall. Richard even autographed my 1978 copy of Tiger Beat! I’d take the class again, for sure.

So now there’s just one more crush left. I met Donny Osmond while doing my morning show on Rock99, now Richard and, since Elvis is dead, only Shaun Cassidy remains. I don’t know when or how but it feels like the odds are good.

9 Months Old and a Summer O Fun

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I don’t write in my blog often enough. Time blips by faster than the paint chips from my nails. Sage is a healthy 20 pounds at 9 months old. She’s apparently as big as most people’s 2 year olds! She’s outgrown her newborn clothes and now wearing 12-18 month stuff (so if anyone needs some cute little baby girly things, speak up!). She’s not crawling and that’s my fault. How can you blame me? She’s so sweet sitting on my bed, playing quietly with her Whoozit and alphabet blocks. Not to mention that I’ve read babies who take longer to walk are more intelligent than their twinkle-toed counterparts. Did I tell you that Sage is learning to swim? Well, not really but she’s getting time in the water. She likes to grab her ankles like a breakdancer rather than do the backstroke when you hold her belly up to the sun but it makes everyone laugh and she smiles that stunning toothless grin. She blows raspberries on a regular basis so we’ve used that as a way to introduce blowing bubbles in the water and she’s perfected the underwater pass without choking or wailing. Of course, it would be too much to expect that she would kick in the water but perhaps by the end of the summer… It’s still early. I’d rather have her swim than crawl. It’s safer in these parts. Crawling amid my clutter is a recipe for disaster.
Instead, she gets time in the jumper and the exersaucer and has learned to scoot backwards on her back when she feels like a change of scenery. She talks up a storm, sleeps 10-12 hours a night (with naps during the day), sits for hours without getting fussy (just ask the PR team for Reno), claps and waves. We think she’s the cutest baby on Earth. But I know that’s hormonal or something. I hear the same from other mothers – “my baby could be on the cover of magazines”, then I look at their baby and think “uh, not.” But what can you really say? Disagree? I’m not shallow, every baby is beautiful. It’s an uncontaminated soul filled with inspiration, imagination and sparkling eyes and laughing heart. How can that be ‘ugly’? But on a strictly esthetic level, there are some definitely ugly babies out there. I look back at newborn photos of Sage and think, ugh, she was not cute. But my OB-GYN swears Sage was a beautiful newborn. OK, I’ll believe her.
Sage gets cuter by the day, though. I’m constantly mesmerized by her little hands and big blue eyes. (go to www.dropshots.com/pcskigal to see).
Enough baby gushing. It’s been a busy May. We all flew to Reno for their annual River Fest at the beginning of the month. I sooo wish we had a river like the Truckee running through downtown Salt Lake where they could establish a whitewater park and I could practice my Eskimo rolls. For Memorial Weekend, we roadtripped (8 hours) to Telluride, Colo. for the MountainFilm Festival. The antithesis of Sundance, this Fest was subdued, intellectual and inviting to locals. We had no trouble getting into the flicks that interested us. Be on the lookout for a Canadian documentary called Sharkwater. It’s a powerful plea to save the sharks the way we rallied to rescue whales and seals. It showed a soft side to those sharp-toothed creatures you would never believe.
I have to stay home for a while now to catch up and pack up. I begin construction in two months. Don Bloxom, a Park City designer, has some pretty impressive ways to spend the equity in my home. When it’s all done I will have a new mother-in-law apartment for the grandmas to have ‘space’, a giant clutter-free (I hope) office with soundbooth and a built-in play area for Sage, and the master bathroom I’ve been dreaming about since I first moved here. Though ten years ago I settled for a spacious walk-in closet with a window and a phonebooth sized bathroom with only a shower, I never gave up my fantasy of a jetted tub with a view of the Wasatch, and a “thunder room” to wall off Ryan’s, er, emissions. The closet becomes the bathroom, the bathroom, the closet. Voile!
I’ll need some extra income to pay off the loan so if you know anyone looking for female voice or acting talent, an editor or writer, send them my way. I’m off to bed. It’s quite late around here – my favorite time of day.

Sage at 20 pounds and 8 months!

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I have been a slacker once again. Sage just turned 8 months old- two weeks ago. The ski season is pretty much over so I don’t have any excuses left. Catching up? Prepping for my trip to San Diego? A slew of auditions? Sure that’s all happening but I went back to writing in my journal and I get lazy duplicating my tales. But it’s time when the emails all roll in asking how we’re doing.
Babies are in the air this spring. My friend Mark Maziarz and his wife Mary Beth just popped out a little girl named Daisy (haven’t seen her in person yet but because Mark is a professional photographer he’s already got a website with photos of her. My old college roommate just announced she has twins due in May. A boy and a girl. Congrats, Sara!! (I always thought I wanted twins but then when decided I only wanted one child because I still want my life to resemble my life I was glad to hear I was only having my sweety Sage.) And my friend Kim is 15 weeks along. I’m hoping she’ll have a girl. She’s got a 2 year old boy that will have big issues learning to share mommy and daddy. A girl might ease things a bit. Two kids is just a scary proposition for me. I really only want Sage. Plus, I got off easy with her. No telling what it would be like a second time around- fat, complicated pregnancy, colic, Damian? I do wonder that since Ryan comes from a ridiculously enormous fam (a lot of that has to do with his parents divorcing and both remarrying into other large families), he may start to long for his own kid.
I’m mobile with one. Today we’re hanging in San Diego. My how a few months make all the difference. My parents were so excited (me too) to see Sage. It’s been about five months and she has sprouted the most adorable personality- smiles, squeals, mellowness, bright eyes and alertness. She sits unassisted, reaching for toys, holding her own bottle, eating baby food, rolling over, saying bababa, and playing peekaboo. My mom and dad are having so much fun with her. I got in Thursday and because of the rainy day, we just hung out around the house. Yesterday, I met Kim for breakfast then hung out in the afternoon before going for Chinese at a non-descript but tasty place in Carlsbad. The SD Zoo was on our radar today. Joey’s here too with Sarah (my niece). So while he was registering for the La Jolla Marathon, we checked out the Gorillas. Sage spent most of the day eyeing kneecaps from her stroller but one day she’ll appreciate the photobook of SD animals we’ll be signing to.
She’s finally asleep. We got home and though the poor thing was wasted, she was wired from all of the activity and the vibe resonating throughout my parent’s house. Joey, Sarah, Julie (my sister), my mom and dad. All present and socializing. Sage did not want to miss a moment. After dinner she played with Sarah’s Crayons and Julie took pictures of me and the baby. I was so grateful- I’ve been dying to get shots like these but I’m usually the one taking the pictures. You can see some of them at www.dropshots.com/pcskigal.
If the weather’s nice we’re going to the beach tomorrow. Both of Sage’s grandmas gave her these cute little swimsuits. Btw, we start a parent/tot swim class May 15 in Park City, after we get back from the Reno River Festival. I better get to sleep myself. I’m beat.

Sage is Seven Months Old!

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My boobs are gone and my hair’s falling out. If I didn’t know better – that it was because I’m done breastfeeding- I’d think I was turning into a guy. I’ll miss my boobs. I’ll actually miss breastfeeding too. I appreciate the freedom but I feel like I’ve let Sage down. If I wasn’t skiing so much, I wouldn’t have dried up and she’d still be getting all of those yummy nutrients and immunities. At the same time, between the pumping and nursing, I never got anything done.
Sage seems fine with the switch and has taken to Costco’s generic formula just fine. Which is a good thing since it’s half the price of the name brands.
However, ignorance was bliss. Now that I know I could handle a C cup (quite well, thank you), I suppose I’ll start saving up for my 50th birthday present. Renato Saltz did an amazing job on my friend’s breasts; hope he’s around by then.
Sage was soo cute tonight. We’ve been taking showers because she hated the bath but tonight was a break-through. Instead of trying to take a bath with her while she screamed bloody murder, I sat her in her baby tub with warm water and the shower going. At first she fussed but then settled in and started reaching for the floaty toys I tossed in. Once she seemed focused on them, I turned off the shower and voila!
Is it just me or am I that weird that motherhood and babydom are as smooth as a puppy’s coat (so far)? Perhaps it was my experience raising Tenaya. In 1997, I dedicated myself to being the best dog mom on earth. Unlike other people who get a dog, dont’ train it, never walk it, and kennel the poor thing whenever they leave home, Tenaya went everywhere with me; I trained her extensively so that it was possible. We traveled together and when she couldn’t come with, I made sure she had care at my house. I bred her, helped her deliver 10 outstanding puppies, handpicking each’s new home. Was that practice for the baby to come? I hear all of these scary and sad tales of mothers struggling with their “new life”, raging hormones, babyfat, sleepless nights. I can’t relate. And I can’t believe that I am the only mother not whining. Sage is amazing, adorable, happy, fun to watch and all of those other things every babysitter showers on me. Up until this month I’ve spent most days and nights with her- movies, restaurants, travel, work. Life goes on but now Tenaya and I have a little buddy.
I get my sleep. She takes two long naps during the day and sleeps 10 hours at night. Soundly. While I watch TV and work. When she’s awake, I feed her, change her, read to her, then set her in her crib or exersaucer or bouncy chair to play. She doesn’t need my attention so I cook, clean, do laundry, write, shower – all of my normal daily activities. I’ve found excellent sitters who love spending time with her so I can ski when (er, if) there’s good snow or a lesson to teach. I have been told that my attitude and ease have a lot to do with Sage’s temperament. I’m not overly protective or rigid. I don’t stress. We keep hours that work for both of us, I don’t hover and if she wants to make Play-Dough of her cereal, why not? I’ve got the babywipes on the kitchen counter.
The one significant change in my life (besides the financial strain) is the endless stream of laundry. But I’m handling that too. Maybe my trials have yet to appear. Toddler years? Teen years? It can’t all be flat water. Or maybe it is me and I waited just long enough in my life to be ready and able to care for a child without feeling lost, overwhelmed, frightened and angry; so Sage doesn’t feel those things either. When I finally decided I was ready for a child, I wanted her as much as I’ve wanted anything in my life and even when she’s crying I find it sweet. A little helpless baby cry that goes away in moments- with a cuddle or warm bottle of milk.

She’s got two crooked, bottom baby teeth. The first bothered her a bit but nothing a soft cloth and Tylenol couldn’t handle. The second popped out of nowhere without fuss.
Sage still doesn’t like spending time on her tummy but she tolerates it. I picked her up from Mardi’s house last week and she was on a rug at her feet while Mardi was doing dishes. Reminded me of those puppies. Sage looked up at me from the floor as if to say, “You back already?” She rolls over only when she feels like it; which isn’t often. Her big belly could be the culprit. Talk about pudge! Eighteen pounds of squeezeableness. I call her Pooh Bear because, well, she’s shaped like Pooh. She eats everything. I’m doing the jar food- green beans, peas, squash, sweet potatoes, applesauce, pears. She opens wide for it all. Can’t you tell? 😉
No allergies yet so we’ll soon move onto Stage 2 foods.
We went bowling yesterday. Kristen had a friend in town – Mike from REM- and we met up with them. Baker, Bresee and a few others. Bresee said I looked great and later said I was “hot”. I hadn’t heard those words from a man in a while. That was cool. That was very cool. It’s not like I don’t get out but I certainly don’t put myself out there like that. Sometimes I wonder if motherhood cosmically changes your vibe. It was refreshing to hear otherwise. John, Thanks for that!!
We left the lanes about 10:30 p.m. Sage was already asleep in her car seat. She woke long enough for me to change her diaper and move her to her crib.
It’s been a busy month with my teaching schedule at Park City Mountain Resort- four days a week. I want to spend more time with her but that will have to wait until next week. The snow totally sucks and it’s not supposed to get any better so we can hang out a lot more. I haven’t missed any milestones though!
She sits up without support. Crawling will be next. I’m sure my mobility will be curbed. But maybe not. I’ve been ‘lucky’ so far.

Every day, I wake and peer into her crib. Sometimes she’s sleeping soundly; other times she’s awake and quietly playing with her hands or “binky”. When she spots me looking, her face lights up, a broad smile breaks and her eyes open wide. She coos and squeals with delight. I think that’s my favorite part of the day now. Tenaya’s here too. She picks up her head from her bed, ears propped and moves closer. My little family. We’re all lucky.

P.S. Current photos are posted at www.dropshots.com/pcskigal

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