Category Archives: Jill Adler’s Personal Blog

Independence Day

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Wouldn’t it be ironic if Sage began crawling forward by Wednesday? She’s so close. As I stood by the edge of the bed, I watched her inch on her back- head first- toward the point of no return. One more skooch. I caught her just as she launched. She laughed. That baby loves a freefall. I can’t wait to take her on rollercoasters. I had initially planned to hit Disneyland when we roadtrip to Cali. this week but friends and family talked me down from that ledge. It’s hot and crowded in July, she won’t remember, blah blah blah. So instead, I’ll investigate LegoLand. That’s in between surf sessions.

The goal is to get up consistently on a board.

We found instructors from Craigslist to help. And my brother will also be in town (with my nieces) to add his two cents on surfing. Sage gets to meet her 2-year-old Cousin Tessa. In a sense, Sage already has since she’s wearing most of her clothes! I’m actually very excited for this trip. Normally I’m going somewhere every other week in the summer but I stayed grounded after Telluride in May just to amp up for this trip. One week in cool San Diego. Wahoo!

We start our roadtrip on Thursday. Turns out I found a 28-year-old guy off of Craigslist to join us and split gas. He calls himself a “traveler” and hitches from place to place, country to country. He was in Utah visiting his dad and now he wants to get back to California. Ryan’s afraid we’re going to be escorting an axe murderer. I think he’s just jealous. 😉 But just in case- if you don’t see a blog on here from San Diego, call the cops. the guy’s name is Destry and he’s traveling with a lab-size puppy.

Things are good with Ryan. We hit a rough patch two weeks ago where I considered professional help – for both of us. We just weren’t communicating but bickering all the time. It was sucking the energy out of the room and me. Ryan didn’t see this as a problem! He thought this was healthy debating. It was over stupid stuff like my driving (which is horrible and will always be), my lack of neatness (again, won’t change), how potential tenants won’t pay more a month just because you have a washer and dryer. Crap like that. He’ll make a comment, I’ll respond , he’ll retort, I’ll say. “This is a ridiculous conversation. Enough already.” And he doesn’t notice that it’s time to change the subject. He’ll go on and on trying to engage me.

The other day he said I should knock out my living room wall and put in big windows. I said, “Sure, as soon as you have the money for the project.” You would think that was the end of story. But no, he had to continue to direct and explain why my house would look better. He didn’t get that I agree with him; I’m just not going to do anything about it. Hence the need for communication advice. MEN. It gets terribly annoying. I love the house to myself- no tension, no conflict, no valuable time wasted on idiotic conversations about what I need to do differently. Now, some of you are thinking, sounds like he’s trying to change you. And you would be right. And anyone who knows me, knows that’s a very dangerous path to tread. But what I think is going on is not that he wants to change me in a literal sense but that he feels like he has no control and that I have it all – he’s in my house, I am Sage’s primary caregiver, what I say goes. So he tries to find control by trying to control me, when he’s really just trying to assert himself. I wish I was equipped to deal with the ego struggle and he’s got no skills for this sort of thing either. The words and tone come out all wrong. I’m sure we’ll fight over this blog and he’ll tell me to stop talking about him to the WWW, I’ll get pissed, then apologize, say I’m sorry for hurting his feelings and reedit the blog. Or I could just take this whole paragraph out now. hmmmm.

Naw. it feels good to vent and it’s not like there isn’t a single chick out there that can’t relate.
Ryan and I have been together more than four years. We’re destined to survive this kind of BS. He’s still a sweet guy who deserves more appreciation from me!

9 Months Old and a Summer O Fun

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I don’t write in my blog often enough. Time blips by faster than the paint chips from my nails. Sage is a healthy 20 pounds at 9 months old. She’s apparently as big as most people’s 2 year olds! She’s outgrown her newborn clothes and now wearing 12-18 month stuff (so if anyone needs some cute little baby girly things, speak up!). She’s not crawling and that’s my fault. How can you blame me? She’s so sweet sitting on my bed, playing quietly with her Whoozit and alphabet blocks. Not to mention that I’ve read babies who take longer to walk are more intelligent than their twinkle-toed counterparts. Did I tell you that Sage is learning to swim? Well, not really but she’s getting time in the water. She likes to grab her ankles like a breakdancer rather than do the backstroke when you hold her belly up to the sun but it makes everyone laugh and she smiles that stunning toothless grin. She blows raspberries on a regular basis so we’ve used that as a way to introduce blowing bubbles in the water and she’s perfected the underwater pass without choking or wailing. Of course, it would be too much to expect that she would kick in the water but perhaps by the end of the summer… It’s still early. I’d rather have her swim than crawl. It’s safer in these parts. Crawling amid my clutter is a recipe for disaster.
Instead, she gets time in the jumper and the exersaucer and has learned to scoot backwards on her back when she feels like a change of scenery. She talks up a storm, sleeps 10-12 hours a night (with naps during the day), sits for hours without getting fussy (just ask the PR team for Reno), claps and waves. We think she’s the cutest baby on Earth. But I know that’s hormonal or something. I hear the same from other mothers – “my baby could be on the cover of magazines”, then I look at their baby and think “uh, not.” But what can you really say? Disagree? I’m not shallow, every baby is beautiful. It’s an uncontaminated soul filled with inspiration, imagination and sparkling eyes and laughing heart. How can that be ‘ugly’? But on a strictly esthetic level, there are some definitely ugly babies out there. I look back at newborn photos of Sage and think, ugh, she was not cute. But my OB-GYN swears Sage was a beautiful newborn. OK, I’ll believe her.
Sage gets cuter by the day, though. I’m constantly mesmerized by her little hands and big blue eyes. (go to www.dropshots.com/pcskigal to see).
Enough baby gushing. It’s been a busy May. We all flew to Reno for their annual River Fest at the beginning of the month. I sooo wish we had a river like the Truckee running through downtown Salt Lake where they could establish a whitewater park and I could practice my Eskimo rolls. For Memorial Weekend, we roadtripped (8 hours) to Telluride, Colo. for the MountainFilm Festival. The antithesis of Sundance, this Fest was subdued, intellectual and inviting to locals. We had no trouble getting into the flicks that interested us. Be on the lookout for a Canadian documentary called Sharkwater. It’s a powerful plea to save the sharks the way we rallied to rescue whales and seals. It showed a soft side to those sharp-toothed creatures you would never believe.
I have to stay home for a while now to catch up and pack up. I begin construction in two months. Don Bloxom, a Park City designer, has some pretty impressive ways to spend the equity in my home. When it’s all done I will have a new mother-in-law apartment for the grandmas to have ‘space’, a giant clutter-free (I hope) office with soundbooth and a built-in play area for Sage, and the master bathroom I’ve been dreaming about since I first moved here. Though ten years ago I settled for a spacious walk-in closet with a window and a phonebooth sized bathroom with only a shower, I never gave up my fantasy of a jetted tub with a view of the Wasatch, and a “thunder room” to wall off Ryan’s, er, emissions. The closet becomes the bathroom, the bathroom, the closet. Voile!
I’ll need some extra income to pay off the loan so if you know anyone looking for female voice or acting talent, an editor or writer, send them my way. I’m off to bed. It’s quite late around here – my favorite time of day.

Sage at 20 pounds and 8 months!

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I have been a slacker once again. Sage just turned 8 months old- two weeks ago. The ski season is pretty much over so I don’t have any excuses left. Catching up? Prepping for my trip to San Diego? A slew of auditions? Sure that’s all happening but I went back to writing in my journal and I get lazy duplicating my tales. But it’s time when the emails all roll in asking how we’re doing.
Babies are in the air this spring. My friend Mark Maziarz and his wife Mary Beth just popped out a little girl named Daisy (haven’t seen her in person yet but because Mark is a professional photographer he’s already got a website with photos of her. My old college roommate just announced she has twins due in May. A boy and a girl. Congrats, Sara!! (I always thought I wanted twins but then when decided I only wanted one child because I still want my life to resemble my life I was glad to hear I was only having my sweety Sage.) And my friend Kim is 15 weeks along. I’m hoping she’ll have a girl. She’s got a 2 year old boy that will have big issues learning to share mommy and daddy. A girl might ease things a bit. Two kids is just a scary proposition for me. I really only want Sage. Plus, I got off easy with her. No telling what it would be like a second time around- fat, complicated pregnancy, colic, Damian? I do wonder that since Ryan comes from a ridiculously enormous fam (a lot of that has to do with his parents divorcing and both remarrying into other large families), he may start to long for his own kid.
I’m mobile with one. Today we’re hanging in San Diego. My how a few months make all the difference. My parents were so excited (me too) to see Sage. It’s been about five months and she has sprouted the most adorable personality- smiles, squeals, mellowness, bright eyes and alertness. She sits unassisted, reaching for toys, holding her own bottle, eating baby food, rolling over, saying bababa, and playing peekaboo. My mom and dad are having so much fun with her. I got in Thursday and because of the rainy day, we just hung out around the house. Yesterday, I met Kim for breakfast then hung out in the afternoon before going for Chinese at a non-descript but tasty place in Carlsbad. The SD Zoo was on our radar today. Joey’s here too with Sarah (my niece). So while he was registering for the La Jolla Marathon, we checked out the Gorillas. Sage spent most of the day eyeing kneecaps from her stroller but one day she’ll appreciate the photobook of SD animals we’ll be signing to.
She’s finally asleep. We got home and though the poor thing was wasted, she was wired from all of the activity and the vibe resonating throughout my parent’s house. Joey, Sarah, Julie (my sister), my mom and dad. All present and socializing. Sage did not want to miss a moment. After dinner she played with Sarah’s Crayons and Julie took pictures of me and the baby. I was so grateful- I’ve been dying to get shots like these but I’m usually the one taking the pictures. You can see some of them at www.dropshots.com/pcskigal.
If the weather’s nice we’re going to the beach tomorrow. Both of Sage’s grandmas gave her these cute little swimsuits. Btw, we start a parent/tot swim class May 15 in Park City, after we get back from the Reno River Festival. I better get to sleep myself. I’m beat.

Nearly Five Months Old!

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Sage has been a blast and a very happy, easy baby. She’ll be five months old next week and a chubby 14 pounds. Considering her birthweight was 6 pounds, that’s some healthy eating. At her four-month checkup, her pediatrician gave me props for producing such a “well-nourished” child.
Everything is healthy and oncourse–with the exception of her not rolling over. Sage hates ‘tummy time’ so we’ve let it slide but now she gets it twice a day whether she’s into it. I think it’s close. I can’t wait for her to actually do something so I can start rolling tape on her. She’s close to sitting on her own once propped up and has great head control. Her squeals and gigantic smiles are heartwarming. I can’t figure out who smiles first. She lights up when either Ryan or I walk in the room. Ryan said last night that he was going to miss this stage. Personally, I am really looking forward to the day she can hug me back.
I love her so much. I see her face in my head everywhere I go. I miss her when she’s not around. Even her cries melt me. Who would have thought? Certainly not me. Tenaya takes it all in stride. She guards Sage and frequently licks her. I’m usually tripping over her to get to the baby.
Taking after her mom, she does tend to watch a little too much TV but I get a kick out of watching her stare at Big Bird. To be honest, she likes music videos a lot more.
She sleeps through the night – her night. Because I don’t usually go to bed before 1 a.m. I’m not getting much sleep when she wakes at 5. But she’s so cute I can’t be upset. She’s still nursing but I have begun to supplement with formula simply because I can’t keep up with the demand. I’ve been skiing every day since Dec. 18 and there’s no way to pump enough. Speaking of skiing. It hasn’t been all that. Global warming? Whatever is it, it’s making for a mediocre start to the season. A storm is supposedly on the way but there’s only 2-4 inches forecast. Life as I have known it has not completely disintegrated. I still ski, talk on the phone, go to movies, go to dinner, surf the web. I was able to find a girl that wanted to trade a place to live this winter for babysitting. I also found a very sweet woman that runs a daycare out of her home for $5/hr. Everything just fell into place.
In four short months we’ve been to Yosemite, San Diego and Boston. The Mass. trip was for Thanksgiving with Ryan’s family. The size of a small town, his circle couldn’t get enough of her. I love that she is so loved but for me it was four days in family hell. It was non-stop ‘visiting’. As nice as everyone was, it was just too much for me. My family fits in one room on one day. That’s what I’m comfortable with.
We drove the baby around to FIVE houses on Thanksgiving Day in pouring rain. Friday, I insisted on alone time by going to breakfast with Ryan only to come back to his house to find six people in his living room passing the baby around like a show and tell object. The only time I held my own daughter was when I fed her or before we passed out at night. To some, I’m sure this is endearing. But as I’ve said before, I come from a more stoic family. They like watching me with Sage and don’t have as much interest in holding her 24/7.
I was screaming inside but Ryan wouldn’t hear it. He’s so used to that scene that he looks forward to it. Ugh. He thought I was being a wuss because I couldn’t handle it for “just five days”. He doesn’t get that even two days without ‘space” is too much for someone who gets space every day for hours at a time. And sleeping doesn’t equal space. And before we left for Mass., Ryan made me promise that I wouldn’t duck out no matter how claustrophobic or stressed I felt because he said it would be rude! There was no escape.
I want Sage to have family on both sides but there has to be a better option than what I experienced last month. Ryan’s mom, stepdad and brother will be here next month. I’m sure we’ll figure something out and it won’t be anything like Thanksgiving. For one thing, they’re staying at his apartment in SLC and Sage and I will be in Park City at my house (Ryan and I stayed in his mom’s basement over Thanksgiving). His mom is supposed to come up here to visit while the boys ski.
Sage will love spending time with her and vice versa but then I get time alone too. Best of both worlds! Her are some pics of the guest of honor :
http://new.photos.yahoo.com/album?c=pcskigal&aid=576460762382401414&pid=&wtok=G7_7N6E0nuM10W8YM3XZjA–&ts=1167889241&.src=ph

**Thanks to Babystyle.com for the killer green sweatsuit and snowflake hat in the photo above. Their stuff is soooo cute!

Three Months Old and Still Cute as Hell

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Baby’s crying real tears now. I never thought my heart could break from something other than a boyfriend dumping me. But when I look at this helpless little creature wailing and wailing with tiny tears in the far corners of her eyes, I want to cry to. It’s usually all about the boob so I can arrest her tears in a flash. It’s times like when Ryan clipped Sage’s thumb instead of her nail that kill me. The poor little thing cried so hard she almost couldn’t breathe. She was so exhausted that she slept the rest of the day and night.
The trauma is long over and she lives a fairly leisurely life- waking at 7 a.m., back to bed until 10 or 11 a.m. , swing in her chair in mommy’s office, nap, eat and get regular diaper changes. Sage isn’t rolling over or sitting up yet. Her latest milestone has been the occasional laugh. But she’s starting to reach out at objects and staying awake and aware for longer periods. Today must have been growth spurt day. She couldn’t go an hour without crying for more milk. I can’t keep up with the demand.
She’s still portable. We saw Babel last week; ate dinner at PF Chang’s and stopped into Ski Utah’s Snow Jam at the Gallivan Center. Though it wasn’t our scene AT ALL (skaterats and snowboarders), it got us out of the house. This week is a different story. We’re attending a wine dinner at Fleming’s. No, we’re not letting her taste- Ryan won’t let me- but she gets exposure to the ‘finer things.’
As for me, I’m tired; but that’s my own damn fault. I don’t go to bed when she does. Ryan and I are both nightowls. It doesn’t help that we are back up at 7 a.m. when she wakes.
Ryan’s been spending every weekend up at my place. Last weekend, we spent two days organizing the garage before it was too late (translation: winter hits). We installed Yakima’s Ground Control rack system and it transformed the space; or shall I say created space I didn’t know I had.
And not a moment too soon! Sage’s first winter began with a major snowstorm Saturday night. The resorts have more than 30 inches of base and Brighton opens Wednesday, with Alta following suit Thursday.
My hunt for a live-in sitter may have ended. A girl training for the Skeleton at the
Oy Sports Park is trading me her time in exchange for a room this winter. My ski season might not be thrashed after all!
Gotta shower and sleep. It’s been a long day. Toodles!
for recent pics of Sage: http://new.photos.yahoo.com/album?c=pcskigal&aid=576460762340005016&pid=&wtok=L1bDcgVWB0mBQn_xA6bjjg–&ts=1163493599&.src=ph

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